“You’re such a loser!” I screamed at my mom from the bottom steps of our small 3 bedroom townhouse. All I wanted to do was go to my friend’s party this weekend and my mom had just ruined my entire weekend by telling me I couldn’t go.
“Jane!” my mom followed behind me. “I have my reasons for you not going to that party and you know it!” she scolded, “If it had been a different kind of party, you would have been allowed to go,” she continued and started grabbing her jacket. “You’re a smart girl but you don’t seem to know it”she flipped her long blonde hair away.
“Mom, it’s just a party!” I tried to reason with her. “My friend Cindy and Claude will be there, nothing will happen” I pleaded with her, making my big puppy face, the one she could never say no to.
“I also know that Tyler and Josh will be there,” she looked at me pointedly. “The biggest crack heads this town has ever seen. I don’t want you near those boys, all they will try to do is sell you drugs” She put on her winter hat and then her gloves
“Mom I’m not stupid to hang out with those losers, all I want to do is go to this party! Do you know who will be there? The coolest of the kids including Duke Foster will be there! Don’t you want me to hang out with someone like him?” I asked, my voice ending in a sigh. I had been secretly in love with him for years.
“No, I would rather for you to hang out with the crack heads than that boy” My mom told me, getting a scared look in her baby blue eyes before quickly hiding it. Too late, I had seen it.
“Why would you say that?” I asked her, curiosity making me forget our present conversation.
“Never you mind.” she told me and grabbed the car keys.
“Fine, but let me go to this party!” I demanded, crossing my arms in front and she looked almost defeated and smiled.
“No. You know I give you everything but not this time. Trust me, one day you will thank me”
“Dammit mother! All I want to do is go to a God damn party so I can have fun for once in my life!” I roared, I was so angry I was seeing red. “You never let me go out, never let me do anything for myself! I hate you!” I screamed while I stomped up the stairs.
“I love you too honey” I thought I heard my mom whisper before the front door open and closed.
As I slammed my door, I heard a loud crash outside our house and quickly went to the window, it looked like someone had hit our car.
“MOM?” I called out and realized I could see her arm from underneath the car. My heart started beating fast, this couldn’t be. Not my mom. she would be okay, with tears welling in my eyes, I ran outside barefoot and looked at the driver who seemed to have passed out.
“MOM!” I yelled but I heard no response, I ran around the other side of the car, by this time I saw our neighbours from my peripheral vision calling the ambulance.
There she was, my sweet loving mother underneath the car. I screamed and screamed, not believing what I was seeing. Tears started rolling down my cheeks as I saw my helpless mom crashed, and then the blood came. So red against the snow, I eventually felt someone grab me from behind, but I kicked and screamed. All I wanted was my mom by my side, yelling or scolding me. I couldn’t live without her. What was I supposed to do? All our lives it had only been her and I. My mom was dead, I didn’t need a doctor to tell me that.
Sometime later after I stopped screaming and kicking I just cried and no one could console, only my mother. My neighbour tried to put her arm around my shoulder and brushed her off, I didn’t want or need anyone. I have no family left I realized, from now on it would only be me. My mom was gone. The last things I had screamed at her were ‘I hate you’. How I wish I could turn back time and tell her no, that was a lie, that I loved her and I would do anything to bring her back.
“I’m so sorry” I cried. “I’m sorry! Please come back” I begged into the silence of my house.